I’m feeling a lot calmer than I was a few weeks ago. I just lay here and looked through all my draft posts I have written and realised that I’m really not in the right frame of mind to post them. Not yet. Maybe later on this week. See how it goes. Something tells me this week is going to be a roller coaster.

2 of my closest friends are battling cancer. Too much time is being spent spent worrying about them, wishing I could help as I watch them go through chemo and being there for them during health scares. It makes you realise what is important. And who is important. And who quite frankly can fuck right off. Cancer is a bitch like that.

I’ve learned a lot about myself these last few weeks. I know I’m in the right place and doing the right thing for me. I also know that the ravelry bitches can’t really hurt me directly anymore, and I think they know that too, which is why they are going after my friends. People who have never ever done anything wrong other than be my friend.

Seeing people you love be attacked because they are your friend hurts. Sitting in a doctors waiting room with that person while they wait for news that neither of us really want to hear, knowing that they may not be able to pay their rent this month, partly because their business is under attack because of me is not fun.

But having them still be my friend is incredible. And that’s why I’m here and still doing it. For my kids and for the very few (but very good) friends I have who would do anything for me.

This year has been amazing to me so far. Let’s hope that continues.

I need to go through those drafts properly and post some of the thoughtful ones, and file done of the really ranty ones away for future use! But first I need to get this household ready for another week.

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