Well, for the first time in almost a year I’m anti depressant free. This means that both my doctor and I agree that I can manage my depression with non prescribed methods. I feel like i am in control now and not The depression. I know what helps me and what doesn’t.
Things that help
Drinking lots of water
Focusing on the positive
Allowing myself to feel whatever I feel, giving myself permission to be who I am
Leaving the house every day
Things that don’t help
Focussing on the past / searching the Internet for negative mentions of me
Alcohol (boo, hiss)
Pretending I’m ok when I’m not
Taking the worlds problems on my shoulders
The last month has been filled with good days for me. Even on the days when I forget the self preservation rules and or have a good sob I know that I am a million miles away from the “close to giving up on it all” woman I was last year.
So my mental health is strong at the moment. This may change and I’ve agreed to see the doctor monthly for the next 3 months to keep an eye on me, very different from the more than once a week suicide watch appointments of last summer!!
I didn’t leave the house today which is not good but had lots of people here working on a project with me so that will have to do. I’m out at meetings every other day this week as well.
One of the drawbacks to coming off the sertraline is the insomnia. At my downest I could sleep for 15 hours at a time. Now I’m lucky if I manage 3 or 4 hours without waking up and struggling to get back to sleep. I need to look into some natural sleep remedies I think.