nearly Monday, again

I’m hoping for a slightly more positive week this week. I’ve felt a little anxious and fraught over the last few days.

Starting off the week on a mag deadline is probably not going to be the most relaxing start to the week though, and neither is my visit to the Citizen’s Advice on Tuesday.

Still, I can hope can’t I?

I’m still trying to think through why I’ve been feeling anxious. Its all to do with me and hubby (of course, what isn’t these days) but I don’t know how to put it into words. I need to struggle through with it in my head for a bit longer I think.

All the worries and fears that I have been holding onto for years haven’t gone, they sometimes just like to hide and make me think they have gone. I still have days when I feel pretty worthless and like I am only good for looking after other people but not as many as I used to. I think the money side of my life is making me feel out of control, if I can get that sorted then everything else should be a bit easier.

So much to think about, plan for, worry about.  I’m still concentrating too much on other people. That HAS to stop. I need to be honest about how I feel and not worry about hurting other people’s feelings when something little happens that I don’t like. Something the counselor told me the other week. Its hard though. Good job there are no BIG things going on at the moment.  Ha.

Ugh. Its all a bit suffocating and much at the moment.

I do have some fiction that I’ve been writing that will trickle on here over the next few days.  That will cheer me up.  And prep work for Nano is in full swing AND I’m making a skirt to wear out on Friday night when I meet up with an old friend in London. So, is all good really.  Just need to get out of my head for a while!

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